Reason for Treatment: depression and anxiety for 5-6 years. Started with panic attacks and
anxiety. outside stressors developed depression that escalated over time. panic attacks under
control with proper medication. depression hit it’s worst state in the middle of 2018. I was
ready to quit on everything. I was not suicidal or interested in losing my life, but I had lost my
love and interest for the things that normally inspire me. I was no longer inspired by my work,
my faith, or the people around me. I was spending days at a time in bed, delaying inevitable
problems because staying in bed was easier than facing stressors. I let this carry on far too
long because I had reservations about TBS. After several meetings with Dr Pollack I committed
to TBS. below are my daily observations both physical and mental.

Day 1: very reserved, inquisitive, a little nervous. learned about the machine, Nora told me
what it did physically and how it would affect me. What i should expect to feel. Expectations
set were far too severe. I was told to expect discomfort and a slight pain, having tattoos and
piercings this sensation was a walk in the park. The feeling is similar to a rubber band being
snapped against your skin. Did not notice any mood changes, no headaches, no improved
sleep. No discernible differences in mental state.

Day 2: understood what i was going in to , nice and easy 3 minute session. No physical
changes after or during. No pain during treatment, no headaches, no fatigue.

Day 3: Treatment with no issues. No new feelings or senseations of notice.
Treatment intensified to 120% … physically felt much stronger. Jaw movement as a reflex but
no more or less uncomfortable than the previous day. Same feeling, just a little more intense.
Afternoon and evening of day 3 I felt some clarity and clear thinking that i had not felt in awhile.
Still undergoing a lot of outside stressors influencing my thinking, but the feeling of doom and
gloom did not reside anymore. Dealt with some difficult decisions and conversations and felt
more confident and clear in my thought process. Still not completely processing a full range of
emotions. Had an emotional conversation about future with girlfriend and she emitted physical
emotion to which I had no reaction. I was numb to the conversation.

9:30PM double murder in parking lot of shopping center. clear level thinking in time of crisis.
Observed 2 dead bodies. No emotional reaction, no panic mode. Body and mind went in to
safety and preservation of crime scene. Was on high alert. I was armed, communicated with
law enforcement, staff, patrons. Felt myself shift in to “caretaker.” Understood it was important
to remain calm. This is also a benefactor of previous training with law enforcement and Army
Special Forces individual.

Day 4: After events of previous night was pretty worn down from outside stressors so night of
day 3 I slept better than other nights. Was able to get up and out of bed with no struggle and
start my day on schedule. This is a new occurrence — something that has not been normal
recently. Felt productive and ahead of the curve. Felt like I was ready to attack the day. Got my
workload done, conversed with staff members about plans for future and had 1pm meeting
about future business. Positive outlook. Currently 2:46pm, just returned home from treatment.
Eyes feel heavy, body is tired. Workload from the day before is taking effect. Took mid
afternoon nap and took the night off work to rest my mind.

Day 5: Woke up early this morning felt well rested felt like I was getting solid sleep. Did not feel
the urge to stay in bed for the day. The hopeless/I quit phase seems to have dissipated to
almost zero. Outside stressors not nearly as not effecting me nearly as heavily, seem to be
handling things with more clear vision. Able to make decisions and handle the consequences
and/or benefits of those decisions. Critical thinking heightened. Fifth treatment at 2 PM today.
First experience with headaches during and after treatment. Treatment at 120%. Felt slight
pressure in my right temple combined with reflex Jaw movement. Jaw movement was not
painful nor uncomfortable however for the first time I noticed slight discomfort in my right
temple; felt like a simple applied pressure. Pain in temple disappeared as soon as the burst
was over and did not last in between individual theta bursts. 30 minutes after treatment starting
to notice headache in the lower part of my brain stem, pain on a scale of 1 to 10 is 2.5 – 3.
Outside stressors involved could possibly be creating stress or tension headache.
Slept off my headache post treatment, felt ok. Slept approx 3 hours.

Day 6: didn’t get to sleep until 4am because my afternoon nap was too long. Carried over in to
my dog waking me up at 830am … very tired and very irritable today. Just want to escape and
be alone. Don’t feel that down, just tired.

Could be related to long and irritating discussion with office manager regarding her work that’s
been insufficient for months now. She’s very defensive and doesn’t like being held accountable
for her mistakes, and it created an argument. Have a meeting Tuesday at 11:30 and I’m not
looking forward to it… something I just want to get away from. Whether she leaves or I have to
terminate her I’m tired of dealing with the same problem. Seems to be my central focus today.
Having a difficult time putting the problem aside and dealing with the day. First time I feel like
I’m “relapsing” in to the quit mentality.

Day 7: did not have time to journal, nothing of significance to note.

Day 8: felt good waking up, tired from a stressful conversation with the girlfriend, and tension
in the household all day. Felt like this would be a situation where I could have an I quit” kind of
day and not get out of bed and not get anything done. However I felt no urge to do so. Got to
work, got some things done and came in for TBS. Good conversation with Nora. Very
refreshing discussing the topic with someone who understands depression. Sometimes
discussing depression I feel like im talking to a wall the way people look at me. No one
understands the fact that this is a medical condition no different than a broken leg. When
people don’t understand it makes me feel inadequate and vulnerable.

Day 9: had 3 drinks last night. 2 beers and a half glass of cognac at home while watching
baseball. Not feeling my normal self today. Almost feel “loopy.” Fell asleep very early, but I was
very mentally exhasted with my day and my issues with my office manager. I was asleep before
11pm which never happens. I was up at 12:15am and felt rested. Got something to drink and
went back to sleep. Woke up at 5am and the dog wanted to play and wanted attention, would
not go away…so I’m a little shaken up on my sleep schedule. Feel as if I had rough sleep. Slight
stress headache lower brain stem left side.

TBS and therapy today at 9:45am.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy extremely difficult today. A lot on my plate to handle. A lot of
outside issues presenting as stressors and triggers. I feel like I can manage them better
however the issues concerning the business I own, and factors beyond my control is a looming
cloud I feel I can’t escape. Every time I think things are going to get better they actually get
worse. I was exhausted and nauseous during therapy. Did not eat before. Had TBS before
therapy , had coffee during therapy. Had trouble focusing at the beginning. During therapy we
discussed the mental need for nourishment especially during and before therapy. Felt the need
to go home and rest my brain after therapy. Turned my phone on silent and went to sleep for a
few hours. Felt much better upon waking. Made it through Tuesday (Day 9) with few issues, just
the feeling of non-production relating to getting things done. I have come to understand the
rest that my brain needs is a physical need no different than resting a broken limb. So I do not
guilt myself quite as much for not getting things done.

Day 10: woke up groggy but felt as if I slept ok. Got a later start than normal to my day. Arrived
at work and got a good amount of work done. Feeling the effects of TBS both positive and
negative. The “doom and gloom” is definitely gone however i feel fatigue and headaches
setting in today. Not sure if my body is adjusting to my more productive routine or if it’s a side
effect from the treatments. I have some anxiety about my joint therapy session with my
girlfriend tomorrow. I feel like the relationship is broken and we are in a healing period. I’m
afraid that I’m actually just not capable much longer of feeling a whole lot for anyone. I feel so
much pressure about work that I can’t enjoy many other elements of my life. No desire to
workout even though I’m so unhappy with my body. Finding more challenges and I’m able to
identify them. A few weeks ago i had no desire to fix anything , I feel like I’m putting plans in
motion now and getting some things done. It’s not drastic improvement but i don’t feel like I’m
back tracking as much as i was the last two months. I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

Day 11: Very early morning wake up 7am for joint therapy session with girlfriend and therapist.
Was anxious going to sleep about what the session would be like. No more or less anxious
than a usual night trying to fall asleep. Just the wheels in my mind spinning about things to get

Therapy was fantastic. Challenging but I feel that barriers in conversation were broken down
that I could have never accomplished on my own. Learning better communication techniques
make me feel a lot better about the future with girlfriend. Had TBS immediately after therapy.
Went to work, knocked out about 3 hours of office work. Very tired and fatigued after
therapy+treatment+work. Went home and was able to relax but ending up falling asleep for
awhile. Napped until 5pm or so, and felt pretty good waking up.

** previously whether I was waking up at 7am, 11am, or napping and waking up at 4pm I
always felt stuffed up, my eyes burned, my body ached, and it kept me in bed. I would forego
whatever I had to do in the name of staying in bed because that felt better than anything else I
could be doing. After about 5-6th treatment of TBS I noticed that was gone. I wake up and feel
like its a little tough to “pull myself out of bed” but it feels more like adjusting to a new sleep
schedule. Once im awake I feel mentally much more prepared to handle the days tasks. **

Day 12: Thursday ended well, spent some quality time with girlfriend at home but had a little
trouble getting to sleep because of my late nap. Fell asleep around 3am, woke around 7am and
went back to bed until 930. Felt pretty good waking up. Got dog to daycare and came back
home to relax my mind before final treatment at 2pm. Had nice conversation with staff
regarding treatment, physical and mental feelings. Feeling hopeful moving forward.

One Month Post Treatment
After treatment I had two weeks off to adjust, set my routine, learn to adjust to my brains new
physiological balance and how it would effect my daily routine. Had a positive two week follow
up appointment with Dr Pollack. Discussed plans moving forward and how to maintain growth
for further healing. Will continue with phq9 twice monthly assessments to evaluate mental
state. Every day feels a little bit better, I’ve been working more, working harder, putting in a lot
of extra hours to make up for the work I missed out on during the summer by delaying anything
I could in the name of avoiding problems. I am setting daily goals and tasks to accomplish and
while I’m not perfect and have no expectation as such, I feel that if I can achieve a little more
today than I did yesterday, I’m making progress, and dealing with clinical depression I’ve come
to understand it’s not about immediate results. It’s a healing process, and I am committed to
doing the work.